That’s the extent of journalism you’ll get today I’m afraid. 

One To Watch

Very Important People, Channel 4, 9:30pm

If you haven’t been following the career of Morgana Robinson like a rabid rat on the stinking corpse of a family rabbit, then come join us in our car parked outside of her house. She’s openly hilarious and about to show Debra Stephenson why she should have stuck with Shell Dockley for as long as she could have (it hasn’t done Linda Henry any harm). Teamed with Terry Mynott, they’ve set they sarcastic sights on the celebrities of the day, and Natalie Cassidy. With hilarious results.

One To Say You’ve Watched But Haven’t

Pier Morgan’s Life Stories: Carol Vorderman

Last week it was Frank Bruno, the week before Bill Roache. What are we talking about? People who’ve had sex with Amanda Barrie? Sadly, not, but instead, people who’ve thought it was a good idea to speak to the boil on humanity’s backside, Piers Morgan.

If you want to see a grown woman cry about her dead friends and complain about what the papers write about her, then this is the show for you. If, like most other people, would rather stick a shitty stick into your eyes, then try reading a book. Or watching a film perraps?