After last week’s invention of the Funky Squat we weren’t sure whether we were emotionally ready for this week’s Apprentice. What was going to be imprinted on our eyes forever more? Would we see something that would make our heads explode with such levels of hilarity and embarrassment? The answer is usually a yes when it comes to the team of nouveau-yuppies that Lord Sugar puts through their paces, but this week was rather adrift with uncomfortable moments and angry confrontations, unless you count the angry looking flushes that grew on Adam’s face in the boardroom.

But you’re not here for comments on people’s skin, this isn’t Heat magazine is it. You’re here for the three things you need to know for work tomorrow. 

So here goes!

1) Here’s a tip for every potential entrepreneur. What’s worse than selling pasta and meatballs that looks like a hefty menses? Trying to sell the dressed as pizza while making bad jokes. It doesn’t work and will result in you getting fired. Which is just what happened to poor Katy, the Blonde Assassin. She didn’t do much assassinations in that costume did she?

2) When claiming something is locally sourced, this doesn’t mean that the supermarket that stocks it is just around the corner. It means that the very essence of the ingredients is from the surrounding area, and not say, Cambodia or some other far flung corner of the World. If Super Mario claimed that he was locally sourced from Italy, would you believe him? Probably not because you can see that he’s just an amalgamation of some terrifyingly dangerous stereotypes, and should be rescuing Princesses from danger instead of talking to you.

This also applies to calling something ‘gourmet.’ It’s one of those buzz words that advertisers think pull people in to their product and justifies increasing the price to an astronomical level. But instead they’re just unnecessary words that stretch out the description of something which doesn’t take that much. Watch.

“Handmade gourmet burger” actually means, better than McDonalds and three times the price. 

3) Doesn’t Lord Sugar’s receptionist look like the girl from The Ring? 

Before we go, as always @kriswould is here with a humorous recap on this episode.

Ready? Prep your vaginets for oncoming prolapse through hilarity.

Katie paid the ultimate price for Adam’s attempt to out skinflint the Scots

Wonderful stuff.