Do we wish Tuesday was actually Friday? Of course we do. We would love to tell you that tomorrow is Saturday and that you don’t need to get up, but we’re not magicians. We’re just normal people who have to get up, just like you. We wee like you. We pick our feet just like you filthy lot. We even hate ourselves for eating white bread. JUST LIKE YOU. 

To help us make it up to you, why not allow us to point you in the right direction vis a vis television. 

One To Watch

Mad Men, Sky Atlantic, 9:00pm

Although Mad Men has drifted on and on for what seems like hours without much happening, last week something brilliant happened. The British one had a fight with that long streak of piss Pete and it was GREAT! It made up for all that soul searching that Betty did when she didn’t have Cancer. Pete finally got what was coming to him and it was such a shame that Joan didn’t spit on him. 

Perhaps Mad Men is ramping up to something fantastic, or it might fall into a damp squib of pencil skirts and shift dresses. But until then, we’re back on the Mad Men train until further notice. 

One To Say You’ve Watched

Britain Unzipped, BBC 3, 9:00pm

If there’s one thing that gets on our nerves it’s comedians who we’re told are totally funny when in fact they aren’t. Michael McIntyre, Rhod Gilbert, Jon Culshaw, Debra Stephenson, most impressionists in fact, and Russell Kane. 

It isn’t just that the man isn’t funny, although that is a massive part of the problem, it’s his attitude to his career. He has nothing to show for all this acclaim that he’s got apart from dancing as Beyonce for Let’s Dance For Sport Relief and a stupid stripe in his hair. We’re not going to like every person that is pushed in front of our eyes, of course we’re not. Even the probabilities will be stacked against it without taking into account personalities, however weak. But people who commission TV shows needs to understand that flogging a dead horse can get irritating, and eventually people will stop tuning in. 

Even his partner in crime on Britain Unzipped, Radio 1 DJ and Ellie Goulding sexer, Greg James, can’t diminish the enhanced stupor that will wash over you. 

Britain Unzipped is set to look at British behaviour and reveal what goes on behind closed doors, when in fact we’d like to see what happens behind the closed doors that get Russell Kane work.